It doesn't matter where you are, honestly there will always be bullies. Whether they pick on your age, looks, height, or likes, they will always be there lurking in the shadows. But, should you fear them? What should you do when you encounter a bully at school?
What is a bully? It's someone who picks on someone else, treats others or certain groups of people inferior, or someone who mocks for no reason. The bottom line is bullies are jealous of other people. They don't have a life, except for picking on others smaller than them. Usually, they'll go after the smaller, meeker kids, the "nice kids" who don't bother anybody. But, instead of giving up your lunch money to these oversized egotists, what can you do?
Remaining a pacifist is always a good idea. You don't want to strike back at a bully. It doesn't matter if you are bigger than them or you think you can "take them on," you shouldn't lash back. That's pretty much saying that you are no better than them. Instead, try reasoning with them if you have time. Don't be aggressive, but always remain assertive, even under fire. If it looks like they are going to hurt you, squirm away. Don't feel ashamed. You needn't risk a black eye to make a point. If you can't get away--they have you cornered-- just yell "Fire!" This will get other people's attention and will most likely distract the bully enough so that you can run and get help.
You're not being a tattletale by telling a teacher that someone is causing trouble. You are saving not only yourself but others that the bully may choose to pick on in the future. The bully is weakened with every bad report against him or her. And, don't be ashamed if others pick on you for yelling for help. Just ignore them because they'd probably do the same if it were happening to them.
Now, most bullies are pictured as big, gristly guys, jocks with big muscles, or something along those lines, but that is not always true. Yes, you typically don't see a computer geek picking on some small kid or a math nerd challenging someone in the hallway lockers, but bullying can happen in less obvious ways.
Verbal abuse is a form of bullying. It's very common that girls are catty, often the pretty girls who think more of themselves, and they can throw some pretty harsh words that hurt like a stinging punch. The difference between physical abuse and verbal is that the bruises from a punch will heal, words from a fight won't always. Sometimes you'll carry those hurtful words in your mind for a long time. But, you don't have to.
What do you do when someone starts to pick a fight of words with you? Walk away. Don't answer them back. Just walk away. If you tell a teacher, they are more likely to ignore you because some teachers don't understand just how bad verbal abuse is, but there are some schools now that have developed anti-bully programs against verbal abuse. So, try to tell the teacher what the person said to you. If it doesn't work, form a support group with your friends, or other kids that have also been bullied in this way. You have strength in numbers. Having friends who love you can help to heal the scars of the past and help you to look forward. You have a bright future if you remain positive. Attitude is so important with verbal abuse. Your good attitude will help and protect you. You may even serve as a defense for other kids going through the same thing.
Gossip is another hurtful fiend of yours. Gossip is fun until it's about you. So, don't spread gossip because someday it'll backfire. As much as you think you don't do anything bad to anybody, there are always kids, and unfortunately adults, out there that will twist what you say to fit their plots of revenge. Whatever the cost, some kids just like to spite you, sometimes just because they are jealous. Avoid gossiping about the gossipers. It weaves an untangleable web that is hard to break free from. Your barrier to gossip is your choice to remain free from it. You don't want to be talked about? Don't talk about others.
It's unfortunate, but it's the truth. Bullies and gossipers don't need to be under 12. There are plenty of adults that are bullies, too. The reason for this is because they could have been bullies as kids and no one taught them a lesson. But, these kind of people usually do know what's right, they just choose to ignore it. They know the rules of the game, but ignore it. It makes them see bad, cool, or superior, but it'll catch up. You may have to deal with these kids in high school now, but wait until you start working. They are everywhere. But, their attitude will catch up with them and you will remain victorious in the end. It may not feel like that now, but when you are older you'll see that you were the most mature and wise person--you were in the right-- and you'll thank me for this little pep talk. Maybe.
I wrote all this because I see bullies prevail online as well as at work and school. When I was in school, I hated seeing other kids get picked on. I often wasn't the victim, but I'd always try to defend the victim. Looking back, I realize I did the right thing by getting involved, telling teachers what happened, and most importantly, being honest. Be honest with the teacher. Maybe you did or said something wrong and you regret it, but fess up to it and you'll be happier in the long run.
When you're at work, the same thing occurs. But, the difference is you can't always squeal to the boss when things go wrong and you can't always step in when someone is getting picked on because it'll be viewed at meddling in someone else's business. But, if you learn now how to deal with bullies, it'll help you later in life. And, believe you me, you always want to be prepared because life gets pretty rough. Yes, they say 13 is the roughest age. And then they say 14 is. Before you know it, 15 is the toughest age. Then, of course people are giving you "16 is the worst age" just in time for "the worst age is 17." And, so on and so forth. Every age is tough and it only gets worse when you've got bullies and gossip girls riding down your back.
To counteract everyone's behavior, the only thing you can do is be on the right. Always do what's right, even if you are the only one. Because in the evening, if you have nothing else going for you, at least you've done the right thing. The only thing you'll have to hold onto is your values. So, in order to not turn the corner in life and switch sides--from victim to aggressor-- I'd just like to encourage you to keep up your good work. Don't be one of those kids that hates bullies and then turns into one, mocking the cheerleaders or picking on the nerds. Don't get revenge. It's not worth it.
So I wrote this little "pep talk" because I see too many kids get scarred from bullies and more yet turn into bullies after getting fed up with being picked on. If you are a bully who's reading this, don't laugh your ugly face off. You ruin people's lives with what you do. You make little kids afraid of school and other people. And, if you realize that you've been unintentionally turning into a monster, stop, take a step back, and change. The one thing you control in life is you. You can't change the world, I don't expect you to, but you can change yourself.